THE NEW EWE

"What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost, until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbors, saying to them, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!'"

Luke 15:4-6

January 24, 2024

LIFE IN THE FOLD

Have you ever found yourself in a situation that you didn't want to be in? Many times, it's because we say yes when we really wanted to say no. It's hard to tell people no, at time, because we don't want to hurt feelings or them to think less of us.... or we just want to be a people-pleaser. Other times, we think, "If I don't do it, who will?!" We feel pressured to do things, even though we may already be overwhelmed and stressed and have too much to do. Guilt can also be a factor. We feel guilty when we say no.

I struggled with this for many years! I sometimes found myself doing things that I really didn't want to do, because I hated to say no. I found myself overloaded and overworked, because I failed to say no. I sometimes felt pressured that I had to take on additional tasks, even thought I was already doing too much.

During my single years, I found myself in this situation many, many times! It was as if people thought, "Oh Loretta is single and has lots of time; she can do it!" I didn't want to disappoint anyone or let them down, so kept taking on more and more responsibilities, until I was completely overwhelmed and stressed out.

At one time, I was church secretary/treasurer, taught a Sunday School class, played piano for our services, sang, rotated into the door-greeter schedule, was on the prayer team, many times unlocked the church before services and stayed and locked up afterwards, filled in as janitor if needed...... It came to a point where I was getting burned out and dreaded going to church; which it should never be like that! I was generally the first one there and last one to leave, I was constantly busy and doing something the entire time I was there, and it became a burden. I thought, "I can't do all of this anymore!"

I prayed about it and put thought into my situation and decided on the things that brought me the most joy and what I felt that God had called me to do. I then decided to let go of those things that I had taken on, because no one else would volunteer or it was easy for others to ask me to do it, so they wouldn't have to or have to find someone else. I've learned that when you are willing to help and are an easy yes, then people will ask you to take on more and more, because it makes their job easier of filling those positions.

I talked to my pastor and told him how I felt... that I was overwhelmed by doing so much... and that I needed to let some things go. I told him what I was willing to continue doing and what responsibilities I was letting go. He wasn't happy and his response was, "But if you don't do it, who will?!" My answer was, "I don't know. But that's not my problem." It would have been easy to feel guilty and think that I had to continue doing everything that I was doing, but I knew for my own peace of mind and spiritual health, I couldn't. Guess what?! When I let those things go, there were others who took up the slack and stepped in to take over those responsibilities!

I ran into the same thing with my job that I had for many years. By the time I resigned, I was the booking supervisor, teller supervisor, did accounts payable for the bank, took care of any ATM or debit card issues, helped with monthly staff meetings for our branches, filled in as a bookkeeper or teller if they were short-handed, answered questions for customers and staff, plus all of the various work and duties that my positions required. It came to a point where I felt overly stressed and overwhelmed! Honestly, I was good at my job. But since I was dependable and good at my job, those in authority over me kept heaping more and more responsibilities onto me. In hindsight, I should have said no or else demanded more pay for all the work and responsibilities that I had!

When you have someone telling you how dependable you are or how good you are or how trustworthy you are.... it's hard to say no when asked to do more; whether it be at church or a secular job. That can even happen with family situations, where you end up taking on more and more roles and responsibilities and are the "go to" person that everyone runs to. Sometimes it takes us saying no that causes others to take on their own responsibilities that they need to be doing, or for someone to step up into a position that they are really called to do. Many times our no's means someone else's yes. God has to get us out of the way in order for Him to accomplish what He desires to do in others.

Sometimes us saying yes, when we should have said no, can get us in embarrassing or uncomfortable situations. Maybe nothing bad, but just involved in something we wished we weren't involved in. I once had a cousin who consented to sing at a co-worker's wedding. I didn't know this person! She got nervous after saying she'd do it, so talked me into singing with her and playing piano for her. I didn't want to be there! Her inability to say no, then my inability to say no, caused me to be in a situation I didn't want to be in. It made her feel better having me there for support, but I had no idea who those people were and was so uncomfortable!

Another time, a minister talked me into playing piano for an outdoor wedding. He knew the groom, and I had met the groom... but didn't know him or any of the family. I can laugh about it now, but it was the most awkward thing I've ever done!! There was no rehearsal. It was poolside at a small local resort. I had been told that they would have a keyboard there for me to play. When I got there, it was a "fun machine"; which was like a really small keyboard that could make different sounds. My back was to the wedding. During the ceremony, a band showed up and were setting up to play for the reception. There was an older man (I was probably early 20's at the time and he was probably early 60's) who set up his guitar RIGHT in front of me and was winking and flirting with me the entire time. I was so embarrassed and flustered and downright uncomfortable!! As soon as the ceremony ended, I hightailed it out of there!

It probably took me around age 50 to finally figure out that it's okay to say no! That's something that God has reminded me of lately. Not that I'm saying yes to things that I shouldn't, but just a good reminder that when situations arise that I don't want to do or that would make me uncomfortable or that would be too much and overwhelming... it's okay to say no! He doesn't condemn us when we do so; nor is God disappointed in us for saying no.

Granted there are times when God obviously asks us to do things that we may not want to do, because it stretches our faith. During those times, He does expect our obedience and for us to say yes!! We need to always be quick to obey God and respond when He prompts us to do something or speak to someone or be kind or step out of our comfort zone to show love to others. This isn't what I'm talking about!

What I'm writing about is saying no when we are already overwhelmed and burdened and have too much to do. Saying no when we are asked and we know that it's taking on another responsibility that we shouldn't have. Saying no just to please other people. Saying no, because someone else said yes, then want our help.

We generally know when we are asked to do something when we should say no. We feel that internal nudge that urges us to say no. But we allow people to talk us into things... we allow guilt to guide us... we want to please people and not disappoint them... we want to be good people and good examples... so it's often easier to say yes, when we should say no. And honestly, sometimes when we say no, we get arguments or people get unhappy with us. Sometimes their unhappiness stems from the fact that they are the ones whom God has spoken to about doing something, or because our no makes them take responsibility, or it makes more work for them to find someone else if we say no.

I want to be quick to say yes to God; but no to those things that are burdens or adds stress to my life. I truly believe that when we ask, God will give us discernment on what things we should say yes to and what things to say no to. We need to respond by giving the appropriate responses! If God nudges us to say no, but we say yes anyway, then when we run to Him because we are overly stressed and carrying too many burdens and responsibilities, He may remind us that He had cautioned us to say no, but we didn't. If we continue taking on more and more stress, because we have a hard time saying no, we shouldn't be surprised if we begin having health issues or feel burdened or overwhelmed or depressed or it affects our emotions.

God does tell us to cast our cares upon Him, because He cares for us. He tells us come to Him when we are heavy-laden and He will give us rest. But that may require us letting go of some things that we've taken on, that we shouldn't have said yes to. It may require us saying no to additional responsibilities. It may mean that we have to stop and take inventory of all that we are doing and then saying no to some of those duties.

When we think, "But who will do it if I don't?", we are limiting God! We don't have to figure out those details, but can trust that if God hasn't called us to do it, then there is someone else that He has called. It's not our responsibility to try and figure all that out before we let go. God is big enough to take care of each situation and each detail, without our help.

I urge you today to take inventory of your life. Are you feeling overwhelmed and overloaded and stressed? Ask God to show you which things to let go of, then listen and respond! You may be robbing someone else of a blessing, by doing something that they've been called to do.

JON'S PERSPECTIVE:

I had a coworker who was running low on work to do, so I suggested he help on a job doing some work that he was very qualified to do. In fact, he did that kind of work for a few years before he shifted to desk work. But he said that it wasn't part of his job description, so he didn't have to do it. You can probably guess that he didn't work with us much longer. The truth was, he was looking for excuses to leave for quite a while. He wasn't really skilled at the job he had (or the position he started in), but he thought he deserved better, anyway.

We know someone else who is unemployed, but has had one opportunity to work after another. He keeps turning them down for one reason after another.

It is okay to say 'no', when the request makes our total burden too great. But it isn't okay when we have almost no burden to begin with. Sloth is included in the famous seven deadly sins. I'd like to point out that this list isn't Biblical; it appears to have come from Pope Gregory. But Proverbs 12:24 says, "The hand of the diligent will rule, but the slothful will be put to forced labor." And Ecclesiastes 10:18 says, "Through sloth the roof sinks in, and through indolence the house leaks."

We can't turn aside from every task, chore, duty, or work. Much of it has to be done, and sometimes there isn't anyone else to do it, especially if it only benefits ourselves.

So, when do we say, 'no'? First, if someone else is better qualified, or needs something to do. Or if we are already overloaded, and someone else can or should do it. In short, use wisdom, and ask God for guidance. He can show you the right choice each time.

ON THE MENEWE:

Kraut Soup

Place small pork roast in crockpot with thinly sliced onions; add 4 cups chicken broth. When meat is tender, remove and shred.

Place shredded meat, onion and broth from crockpot in a soup pot. Add somewhat drained kraut, caraway seeds, red pepper flakes, thinly sliced potatoes, salt and pepper. Add more chicken broth to cover everything, if needed. Cook until potatoes are tender.

Add in some heavy whipping cream, just enough to make it creamy.

THIS, THAT AND THE OTHER:

When one of my nieces was around four of five years of age, my sister went to a fabric store and took her kids with her. They had a kiddie corner, and she left her daughter there to play while she shopped. Her son was a baby at that time, so she kept him with her. She stayed within range so she could keep an eye out and watch her little girl.

My sister overheard her daughter talking to another little girl. She was asking the other girl if she went to church and if she knew Jesus.

On the way home, she proudly told her mom, "I witnessed today to another girl at the store."

My sister said, "I know you did. I heard you and am very proud of you."

My niece asked, "How much are you going to pay me?"

My sister had to explain to her that witnessing is something you do because you love Jesus, not because you want to be paid for it!

THOUGHT TO PONDER:

Until Jesus is enough for you,

no job, person, or thing will ever be. - TobyMac

OUR HEARTFELT THANKS TO YOU:

We love you!

Loretta & Jon

http://www.graysheep.org