THE NEW EWE

"What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost, until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbors, saying to them, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!'"

Luke 15:4-6

May 31, 2023

LIFE IN THE FOLD

Jon and I recently watched a video series on cherishing your spouse and what that means. The word "cherish" has been on my mind a lot and I've been pondering the significance of what that truly means and looks like in a relationship. What does that look like in marriage; as well in our relationship with God.

In the tradition wedding vows, couples promise to "love and cherish". We understand love, but what does cherish mean?

I found some definitions that really clarify what love and cherish mean, and the differences: Cherish is like love, but more specific. If you cherish someone, they are important to you and you want to protect them. To cherish someone is to love them dearly. If you really love someone, you will cherish them. To cherish them validates love. The Oxford dictionary defines "cherish" as to "protect and care for someone lovingly." To cherish means to highly value and guard. Cherish means to hold dear; to nurture. To cherish someone goes even deeper emotionally than love.

The word love is overused in our culture today. We love ice cream, we love our car, we love our home, we love our new haircut, we tell people that we love their shoes or new outfit (women specifically!), we love our job, we love getting a paycheck, we love certain restaurants, we love clean sheets on the bed, we love having our yard mowed or having a clean house or having the laundry done, and the list goes on and on and on......

The words, "I love you" are often tossed around between people without having any real deep meaning. We attend a deaf church and will often see people signing "I love you" to one another, which is fine and often well-meant. But I've had people that I really don't even know sign, "I love you"; and I think you don't even know me! Celebrities will tell their fans, "I love you!" I've heard people comment, "I just love that singer... or that actor/actress." People freely throw those words around, until it often just becomes a saying and doesn't have any real deep feeling or meaning.

Granted, there are people whom I truly love and I tell them "I love you" and mean it. I'm sure you are the same. Those words are heartfelt and are spoken honestly. We have built a relationship and trust with those family members or friends and know that when those words are said, they are coming from the heart.

Love can be wonderful and is much needed in our world! Jesus commands us to love one another, so we know that it is important. But when He spoke that command, I don't think He meant it in the loose context in which individuals toss that word around with, today. I think perhaps how our world perceives love and how it has lost it's deep meaning, people often miss out on truly understanding how much Jesus loves us. People just flippantly say, "Love you!", kind of like they say hello or goodbye. It's said without there being any type of commitment or deep-rooted emotions; it's just empty words. They say that they love God, but there is a lack of commitment and they don't truly mean it from their heart; so that's what they expect in return from Him.

Paul is writing to the husbands in Ephesians 5:25 and says, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her." That verse shows the sacrificial love that Christ showed for us, His church, in being willing to give Himself for us. That's a type of love that is hard for many of us to truly comprehend. It's a type of love that is hard for many to give, as well as for many to receive.

Paul continues writing in verse 29: "For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church." Christ nourishing and cherishing the church shows just how much He loves us. In that same way, a husband is to nourish and cherish his wife.

Nourish means "to nurture, provide for, encourage, enrich, strengthen." Cherish means to "protect and care for (someone) lovingly; to hold dear." So a loving christian husband cares so deeply for his wife that he make sure that she is being nourished. He treasures her and makes sure that she knows that she is loved and cherished. He does so because of his love for her.

When a husband loves and cherishes his wife and makes her feel protected and cared for and nurtured, then submitting to him is a joy (Ephesians 6:22-24). She does so out of love and respect, because she treasures, honors, and cherishes him. But the wife is also responsible for making her husband feel cherished. She does so by making him feel special and as if he is the most important person in the world to her.

It can't be one-sided where one person does all the giving and the other is always the receiver; but both desire to heap love upon the other and make them feel cherished. The more you do for your spouse, the more you want to do. You see the delight and joy that it brings to them, which give you joy. It's not a contest on who does or gives the most, but it's desiring to put the other person above yourself and making them feel cherished.

The couple values one another and holds one another dear above all others, second only to Christ himself. They delight in one another and it's obvious to all around them. It's not an act or done so because it's a command from the Bible; but they truly love and cherish one another, according to how God designed married couples to live. The world needs more couples who model this type of marriage.

I'm going to be honest: I do love my husband and I adore him; but I haven't always made him feel as if I cherish him. There have been occasions when I've not made him feel as if he's important to me. I've failed to show him how proud I am of him. After almost 18 years of marriage, I need improvement. But I have determined to work on showing him that I do indeed love and cherish him. I never want him to doubt that. Perhaps we should all examine our relationship with our spouse and ask ourself if they feel loved and cherished by us. If not, put time and effort into strengthening our relationship and our marriage.

Lastly, may we all truly comprehend the depth of love that Christ has for us! He was willing to sacrifice His life for us, so that our sins could be forgiven and we could live eternally. He loves us so deeply that He wants to spend eternity with us!!

Knowing that we are loved and cherished by God should make us desire a closer relationship with Him. It should make us want to be fully committed to Him and want to spend time with Him. Not only should we feel loved and cherished by Jesus, but it should be mutual where He feels loved and cherished by us.

JON'S PERSPECTIVE:

I had never looked up a definition for 'cherish'. I had learned its meaning in terms of 'cherishing my time with', or 'cherishing the memory of'. In both cases, I believe it to be fairly close to coveting, but coveting something we actually have, not coveting something we wish we had.

I cherish time with Loretta. I want to be with her and spend time with her. I do like time alone, too. But I want more time to spend with Loretta. I don't want to give that up. I cherish memories of time with Loretta, too. And I don't want to give those good memories up.

I cherish Loretta. I want the world to know she is mine. I won her hand in marriage. I have a wonderful woman as my wife, and enjoy bragging about her.

At least that is how I had defined cherish in my mind. I do provide for her, so I suppose that would count as nourishing her. And I dote on her about as much as she will let me. I care for her indirectly by taking care of our home and yard in many ways so she always (almost) has air conditioning, and a strong, safe home.

I hope she always knows she is cherished. And loved, and honored.

ON THE MENEWE:

Coffee Creamer Homemade Ice Cream

You can use any flavor of coffee creamer you desire, depending on what flavor ice cream you desire.

Add all ingredients together, minus the whole milk.

Pour mixture into ice cream canister, then add whole milk to the fill line.

Freeze according to freezer instructions.

THIS, THAT AND THE OTHER:

I encourage you to intentionally make time for family! Life is often too busy with schedules and people all running here and there. It's important to make time for those whom we love.

Jon and I have date nights. My sisters and I schedule time each summer to get together for a few days; no husbands or kids, just us five girls. I don't have kids and grandkids, but have "dates" with some of my nephew and nieces' kids who live nearby. Sometimes I'll take the kids, one at a time, and let them choose where we eat and if they want to come to my house for a few hours or go shopping or what they want to do. Other times, I may take 2-3 at a time. It makes my heart happy when I get a text from one of the kids asking if we can hang out. When one of my nieces or nephews and their spouse want to go out on a date or go out of town, I often will stay with their kids. They know when Aunt Retta stays with them, they will get to choose what kind of food they want and I'll go buy it for them. Generally, at least once each summer as many family as can make it will get together at our family home-place in Missouri on a Saturday. Probably 4-5 times a year I invite my sister, her kids and grandkids, and another nephew and his family who live nearby to our home for dinner and to just relax and hang out. The second Saturday in November I have a girls Christmas party at our home for my sisters, their daughters, granddaughters, and daughters-in-law. It's become a tradition that I've done for probably 10 years now. While we have our party, the guys get together and go out for pizza; then afterwards come back to our house to visit. Every couple of months or so, Jon and I pick up his mom and meet his brother and aunt for brunch.

Those are just some of the ways that I intentionally spend time with family and those whom I love, who mean the world to me. I don't want life to pass us by and we neglect to enjoy time together. I encourage you to find your own ways of getting together with family and those you love. Make traditions!

THOUGHT TO PONDER:

You are not too dirty for God to cleanse. You are not too broken for God to fix.

You are not too far for God to reach. You are not too guilty for God to forgive.

You are not too worthless for God to love. God never gives up on you. - unknown

OUR HEARTFELT THANKS TO YOU:

We love you!

Loretta & Jon

http://www.graysheep.org