THE NEW EWE

"What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost, until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbors, saying to them, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!'"

Luke 15:4-6

August 26, 2020

LIFE IN THE FOLD:

For the past couple months or so, I've been volunteering to mow part-time for our elderly neighbors. Having a pretty lawn is important to the man, and for many years, he enjoyed keeping everything looking beautiful. Due to health issues, he has been unable to do his own yard work. The children of this couple are busy working or helping their parents, so when I can, I've been mowing to help them all out.

But last week when I was mowing our yard, our zero turn mower started having major issues. Jon did some work on it and was hoping that he had it repaired. I had seen the daughter of this couple and she said that she was taking her parents on an outing that afternoon, so I decided that it would be a good time to mow for them, while they were gone. The mower started fine, and did great until I had the front yard about two-thirds of the way done; then it started sputtering, back-firing, surging, and acting as if it were going to die. I was able to get it back to our house. Jon came out to check it out and it started running better, so he drove it over to mow the ditches for me. After a couple minutes, it once again began having those same issues. I didn't want to leave the front lawn unfinished, so I took our weed-eater and push mower over to finish up.

Later that evening, I told Jon that I felt like I should go over and apologize for not getting their backyard mowed. I felt that we needed to go explain to them that we had taken our mower to the shop for repairs, so wouldn't be able to mow for them until we get it back. Jon asked why, and my response was, "Because I don't want them to think that I'm lazy!" Jon answered, "Loretta, they don't think you are lazy! If you were lazy, you wouldn't have volunteered to mow at all."

God created each of us with unique personalities. There may be many positive aspects of those personalities, but there may be things about it that we need to reign in and work on. We can't always think, "Well this is just the way I am and how God created me, so there's nothing I can do about it!" I believe that God didn't create our personality to control us, but us to control our personality.

A couple years ago, I took an enneagram test and it showed that my main personality trait was "Helper". Sounds great, right?!? But the truth is, sometimes that has been a burden and hardship for me. For many, many years that meant that I had a difficult time telling people no, when asked to do something. I ended up over-extending myself and stressed, or in situations that I didn't want to be in, or doing things that I really didn't want to do because it was in my character to help. I didn't want anyone to be upset with me and felt like I would be letting them down and disappointing them if I didn't say yes, when asked to do something.

Helping is a good thing, but became burdensome at times. I sang at weddings for people I really didn't know. At one time I was church secretary, pianist, singer, teacher in a Sunday School Class, a door greeter, and was on the prayer team; all at the same time. I went places every time I was asked, even when I was exhausted. Due to my nature to help, I would always say yes.

I'm finally beginning to learn that it is okay to say no sometimes. I don't have to always try to please people by doing whatever they ask me to do. My worth is not always based upon making everyone happy. It's okay for me to take care of myself. I can still be the woman and helper that God created me to be, but yet, love and take care of myself; and say no when I feel that I need to, or it would put me in a situation that would make me uncomfortable, or would over-extend myself, or something that I really don't want to do. If people only love and appreciate me for what I can do for them, then that is on them and not me.

Another example is that someone may have the gift of mercy, to the point that they may give someone one chance after another after another; then end up getting hurt over and over again. They can still be merciful, but learn to say that it's time for consequences to happen.

Someone else may have the nature to be hospitable and love opening their home and heart up to others continually. But there may come a point where it is interfering with their family time and is causing strife and stress. Perhaps their kids or spouse feel as if others mean more to them than they do.

We can all be the men and women that God has created us to be, without it being burdensome for us. If we are carrying around stress, worry, negative emotions, feelings of others being disappointed or thinking less of us, etc.... then we need to ask God to show us what is causing us to feel those things. Assess our lives and thoughts and let go of things that are heaping unnecessary guilt upon our head.

Me thinking that my neighbors would think that I was lazy for not mowing their backyard was foolish! That was unnecessary stress and guilt on myself and was just plain silly. If they did happen to be thinking that, then really the problem would be on their part, not mine. I know that I did what I could and was doing my best, and that should have been good enough for me; instead of allowing those other thoughts into my mind that caused me to feel bad about myself or fear what someone might think of me. The honest truth is, I really don't have to mow my neighbor's yard at all. So feeling bad and worried that they might think I was lazy was a self-imposed burden.

I had a friend who told me, "Gotta know who to know and who to no." I love that!! We have to be aware of who to know and say yes to; but also know who to say no to.

I want to encourage you to allow God to show you how He sees you. Embrace and enjoy being who God created you to be and use those gifts and abilities that He has placed with you! But don't allow them to become an unnecessary burden to you, which God never intended you to bear. Let go of stress and worry and fear and guilt-ridden thoughts and people pleasing and all of that unnecessary baggage that may be weighing you down. Be the special you that God desires you to be!

JON'S PERSPECTIVE:

I didn't know till after we were married how difficult it was for Loretta to refuse to help anyone or do what she could to please them. I guess that's why she said, "Yes", when I asked her to be my wife. (That is NOT true... says Loretta!)

By the second month of our marriage, Loretta started telling me, "No." And she learned to say it more and more over the first few months. After a few years of practice, she can tell anyone, "No". So, I can take credit for her learning to tell others "No". (Hmmm.... again, says Loretta!)

Loretta and I are very different people. I'm glad to help when I can, but I don't feel compelled to be a "Helper" like Loretta.

I'm the sort that has to do everything as right as I can manage, or not do it at all. If I can't fix a wall correctly with the tools I have, I'll go buy tools. If I can't fix our plumbing right, I'll hire it done. If I can't win an argument, I'll drop it. But I don't think "Perfectionist" was one of the enneagram types. I think my test was a bit of a mix, mostly "Challenger"/"Investigator", but also a bit of "Peacemaker".

I guess I can take some credit for helping teach Loretta to say "No". When someone asks her to do something, and she assumes she should say "Yes", the "Challenger" part of my nature questions the assumption. Why not say "No" instead? And when I see how it stresses her, the "Peacemaker" part of my nature makes me want to resolve and end that stress.

People are all different. We might see it as frustrating that others can't feel the way we do. But we can help each other better because we are different. As mentioned last week, we all have a place in a great puzzle (or tapestry if you prefer), and we only have that place because we are different.

ON THE MENEWE:

BBQ Beef Sandwiches

Place the meat in the crockpot and cover with all the remaining ingredients.

Cook on low for 7-8 hours until tender. Remove the meat from the crockpot and shred. Put the meat back into the crockpot and cook an additional 30 minutes or so.

Serve on buns.

THIS, THAT AND THE OTHER:

Many schools have either gone back into session, or will be soon. This school year will be very different for everyone, whether the students choose to go back into the classroom or are doing virtual school. It is very different for teachers and staff, as they are navigating territory that they've never been in. It's difficult for many parents, as they are having to make tough choices about whether to send their kids back, do virtual learning, or homeschool; and it's been a hardship for most, whether they are a single working parent or both parents are working. Government leaders are having to make tough decisions, with people being disgruntled and angry, no matter what they do.

I encourage you to take time each day to pray for our school age kids, the teachers and staff, parents, and government leaders. It is often easy to criticize when decisions are being made that are not to our liking. But this is new untraveled roads for everyone, and each person is trying to navigate unchartered roads on life's journey right now. Mistakes will be made by all! But let's be the ones who encourage our kids, parents, teachers and staff, and leaders! Let's be the ones who pray for them each day!

THOUGHT TO PONDER:

Sometimes when things are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place. -unknown

OUR HEARTFELT THANKS TO YOU:

We love you!

Loretta & Jon

http://www.graysheep.org