THE NEW EWE

"What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost, until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbors, saying to them, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!'"

Luke 15:4-6

May 13, 2020

LIFE IN THE FOLD:

Last week I failed to write something regarding Mother's Day, and forgot to even mention anything about it. It wasn't until close to the weekend that I remembered that it was Mother's Day weekend and my failure to mention it in the newsletter.

Around Mother's Day I often read posts from various people that they have the "best mom"! Really, isn't that how children should feel about their parents... that they are the best? I feel for those who weren't raised with a loving, caring mama and daddy.

Growing up, I assumed that every child was loved like I was, and that all families had a really close bond like mine. I didn't know any difference. My cousins all had loving families like I did. People I went to church with did, too, as far as I knew. I didn't know details about the individual family lives of my classmates, but they seemed happy enough, so I made the assumption that they were in happy homes. Perhaps that was the case, perhaps not.

I really didn't have a deep understanding or knowledge of the trauma that some kids, especially those in the foster system, had to deal with and the ongoing affects it has on them; until I had family who began to foster and adopt. I had lived a sheltered life and was naive to many things regarding childhood trauma for most of my life. It is heartbreaking when boys and girls aren't loved or don't feel safe and suffer abuse.

So it does make my heart happy and makes me smile when I read comments from people saying that their mom and/or dad is/was "the best"! Many that I see on social media are written by people whom I am acquainted with or related to, so I know that they genuinely feel that way.

Since becoming adults, my sisters and I have all said that we each felt like we were mama's favorite. She had a way of making us feel special and as if we were truly her favorite... but all five of us girls felt that way. We each had a bond with her, and she gave us individual attention and love and made us feel as if we were cherished. Mama had a gift for treating each of us in a way that made us feel like we were her very favorite child. None of us ever questioned her love or felt jealous toward our sisters. We were secure in the love of our parents.

Mama passed away when I was 15 years old, which was tough. Losing a parent it heartbreaking, no matter how old you are. I was 42 when Daddy passed away, and that was hard as well. You're never ready for their death and not having them as a part of your life; even though you have hope of seeing them again in heaven. Thank God for that blessed hope and assurance that He gives us. We can hold onto that promise of one day being reunited with our family for all eternity.

My sisters are all greatly loved by their kids and grandkids, which makes me incredibly happy! I love watching their interaction with one another and seeing the bond that they share.

I love watching my niece and nephews, who are married, with their spouses and children and how they have created homes and bonds with one another. It makes me happy to see how they love each other.

Growing up, I always assumed that I would one day be a mama. I thought that I would become an adult, get married, have babies, and be a grandma by this time of my life. It never even occurred to me that God might have a different plan for me. As the years crept by and I never met the right man, therefore, didn't get married there were times when I questioned God and felt like He had forgotten about me. I cried and prayed and begged God to let it happen, but that wasn't His plan. Then about the time I'd made peace with spending my life as a single woman and decided that it was okay if I never married, God brought Jon into my life. But at 40 years old (well, for me!) and where we were in our life, babies weren't part of God's plan for us. That part of my life didn't work out as I had assumed; but it's okay.

I will be honest, there are times when I'm with a group of women and they are all talking about their kids or grandkids and I have nothing to add to the conversation, and feel left out. Throughout the years, there have been Mother's Days when I've cried, because I miss my mama and miss being a mama. But it's okay!! It truly is!!

The truth is, every single one of us have things in our life that has turned out much different than we ever anticipated or imagined. Life's journey can take us on a much different route than we thought it would. Life can bring about unanticipated and unplanned events... sometimes over a period of time and sometimes they can happen suddenly. Either way, they can be difficult and hard to navigate through.

When Daddy and Mama got married, then had five daughters, I'm sure that they dreamed of seeing us grow up and start families of our own, then the two of them growing old together. Daddy never imagined that he would lose his wife when she was 48 years old and he still had three daughters living at home. My sister never suspected that her seemingly healthy husband would be very suddenly and unexpectedly be diagnosed with a brain tumor, which he would die from a year later. Being a widow was never on her radar! I have family members who had miscarried babies, which is never something a woman ever anticipates when she finds out that she is pregnant. My stepbrother had no idea that he would be diagnosed with Parkinson's when he was in the prime of his life, and that by the time he was in his late-50's his wife would be his caregiver and he would be unable to function. His wife never suspected that she would one day have to be his primary caregiver and this is how they'd spend these past few years. House fires, car accidents, lost jobs are never on our radar as something that would ever happen to us. Each of you could add your own unexpected life event to this list.

Even though we each have our own experiences of disappointments or heartache, we want to make sure that we never make others feel somehow guilty or bad because their life turning out differently than ours. Just because I have never mothered children, I would never, ever want mothers and grandmothers to feel guilty for being celebrated on Mother's Day. Every woman who is a mother and grandmother should be made to feel like the most precious person in their families life on that day. They should talk freely about their kids and grandkids and brag on them and share about what is going on in their lives.

I have sometimes cried on Mother's Day because I miss my mama or I wish I was a mama. That's my reality! But even then, I would never want any woman who is a mom to not be celebrated! That is their reality and should be loved and honored as such.

My sister, whose husband passed away, would never want other couples to feel bad for celebrating their anniversary or couples celebrating their wedding. Her reality is that she is a widow; but their reality is that they have a spouse. Therefore, they should have date nights. They should celebrate and rejoice when they have an anniversary.

Each of us have our own realities; but what is truth for our life is not necessarily truth for someone else. We cannot expect other people to adjust how God has planned their life to coincide with how He has planned ours. That doesn't mean that we aren't to be sensitive to others; but we don't become jealous if they have something that we desire.

Romans 12:15 says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep."

Being like Jesus is being able to discern when to weep with others and when to rejoice. It means not being jealous or bitter because someone is blessed in a way in which we are not.

I daresay that each of us have something that someone else would desire to have; whether it be children and grandchildren, a living spouse, wealth and financial security, job security, a loving marriage and family, being a homeowner, health, etc.

Let's be careful that we don't focus on what we don't have, complain to others who may have what we would desire, or become jealous or bitter.

I have often heard the expression, "That's not fair!" Sometimes it is used when someone is undeservingly treated unkindly; other times it may be when something bad happens to a good person; but other times it is used when someone gets something that we want.

For example, someone works hard and pays their mortgage off and you still owe several years on our home. Instead of thinking, "Not fair;" rejoice with them that they have that debt paid off. Then when it is your turn to get your mortgage paid off, let others celebrate with you. When someone is blessed with something we want, learn to genuinely rejoice with them. When unexpected blessings come their way don't think, "Nothing good ever happens to me!" Learn to have a cheerful heart.

Philippians 4:11 says, "I have learned to be content with whatever I have."

Paul doesn't write that contentment came naturally once he truly repented and become a believer. But he said that he had learned to be content with whatever he had.

Learning something takes practice! For a child to learn how to write their name, they have to practice. Learning to play an instrument takes hours and hours of practice. Learning new skills requires work.

Learning to be content with whatever we have takes work and practice. To become really skilled at being content, regardless of what we are going through or what we have, will require us to work at learning how to do so. But it's not unachievable! We can learn how to live lives of being in a continual state of contentment. I've not quite arrived there and need more practice. Let's each work on that. We will find ourselves more joy-filled and at peace when we learn how to be content in all things.

JON'S PERSPECTIVE:

To strengthen your arms, you could lift weights. Lifting balloons won't do any good. Without gravity pulling the weights down, you won't build any strength. The heavier the weights, the stronger gravity pulls against you, and the more you will strengthen your arms (to a point). And then, it takes lifting the weight many times to get stronger. And then, you can lift heavier weights.

Its similar for building patience. With nothing to pull against your patience, you can't build it stronger and stronger.

The same is true with faith. If we never need faith, we don't exercise it. With nothing to strain our faith, it doesn't grow stronger.

And learning to be content in all cases is the same. We have to be put into situations that pull us away from contentment, so we work to be content in spite of it. With practice, we can learn to be content in worse and worse situations.

We could give it all up, avoid exercise, live in a gilded bubble, and never grow or improve an any way. But then if the bubble bursts, we'd be helpless.

ON THE MENEWE:

Oven Shrimp with Baked Potatoes

Place all ingredients in a 9x13 pan. Cook at 400 for 20 minutes.

Bake potatoes. Spoon the butter drippings from the shrimp over your potato.

Serve shrimp with cocktail sauce.

THIS, THAT AND THE OTHER:

I'm sure that this story wasn't funny to Jon's parents at the time, but it makes me laugh. When he was a young boy, his mom had bought him some cowboy boots. Jon absolutely hated them!! They hurt his feet and were uncomfortable.

[Jon] I lost those boots when a cousin and I tried to race across a very muddy field. My grandfather had spent many hours tilling and preparing the field for growing vegetables. I think he had even planted the seeds. Then, not knowing what the field was for, we saw it as a challenge.

I was sure that I'd be in terrible trouble for losing the boots, but honestly, I was glad to be rid of them. My mom took pity on me, and didn't replace them.

But she did replace my corduroy pants and green jeans when they wore out. I guess I should have been content with 1 out of 3.

THOUGHT TO PONDER:

Time is like a river.

You cannot touch the same water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again.

Enjoy every moment in life. -unknown

OUR HEARTFELT THANKS TO YOU:

We love you!

Loretta & Jon

http://www.graysheep.org